sexta-feira, 18 de junho de 2010

Parshas Chukas

Drasha

Parshas Chukas

Crime and Punishment

Crime and Punishment. In a corporeal world, the correlation of a jail sentence to a crime does not symbolize a cogent philosophical message. Of course, it may tell us that crime does not pay. Unfortunately, that comprehensive message does not differentiate between one who steals to sustain his family, and the greedy scam-artist who bilks widows out of their life's savings. The two felons may sit only a few cells apart from each other, with an arsonist or barroom brawler separating them, but the crimes that sent them to their dismal abodes are so very different in intent.

Divine justice does better. Every aveirah generates a punishment specifically designed to send a distinct Heavenly message to the afflicted. Of course, it may take an otherwise perspicacious mind to correlate what life is handing to him and how it relates to his mortal misdeeds. We do not always relate events that occur to the acts we have perpetrated. Sometimes it is too much for us to bear, and sometimes our ideas may lead us to wrongful conclusions, harming both our psyche and morale.

But when the Torah teaches us about crime and punishment we are more fortunate. The lessons of our past are now devoid of the guilt-ridden, depressive response we may have currently; rather they are moral springboard from which to bound to greater heights. And thus, when the Torah tells us of a clear crime and an immediate response, we have to transpose the relationship between the two to attain another moral lesson.

The people spoke against G-d and Moshe - "Why did you bring us up from Egypt to die in this wilderness, for there is no food and no water, and our soul is disgusted with the insubstantial food [Manna]?" G-d sent the fiery serpents against the people and they bit the people. A large multitude of Israel died. The people came to Moshe and said, "We have sinned, for we have spoken against Hashem and against you! Pray to Hashem that He remove from us the serpent" (Numbers,21:5-7). The people complained about their fare, and were punished with snakes. If Divine retribution is corollary to the crime, how do snakes correspond to kvetching?

Rashi quotes the Midrash Tanchuma. "Hashem said as it were - let the serpent which was punished for slanderous statements come and exact punishment from those who utter slander; Let the serpent to which all kinds of food have one taste [that of earth; cf (Gen:3:14) and (Yoma: 75a)] come and exact punishment from these ingrates to whom one thing (the manna) had the taste of many different dainties.

What was the slander of the snake? Didn't he just convince Chava to take a bite of the fruit? What connection is there with the Manna? The old Jewish yarn has a Bubby (grandmother) taking her grandchild, little Irving, to the beach toward the end of spring. There is hardly anyone around as the child, dressed in a spring suit, plays innocently on the shore. Suddenly a wave breaks and sweeps him into the vast ocean. The grandmother, who cannot swim, yells toward the deserted beach, "Someone! Please save my Irving! Please! Anybody!"

Out of nowhere, a man charges forward, dives into the ocean and swims valiantly toward the helpless child. Moments later he is holding the gasping child aloft, while his weeping grandmother dashes toward them. She whisks the child from the man, and looks over the child making sure he is still in one piece.

Then she turns to the man, nods her head slightly and parts her otherwise pursed lips. "He was wearing a hat."

In Gan Eden, the Garden of Eden, life was blissful. Adam and Chava had all they could have wanted, except for one type of fruit -- The Eitz Hada'as, The Fruit of Knowledge. It was the snake that taught his human cohort, the concept of total self-indulgence, rendering them powerless to say, "No!"

The desert dwellers did not fare much differently. Their celestial fare adapted to almost any flavor in the world. Water flowed freely from the rock. But they were not content. They wanted more. The unfulfilled flavors that the Manna refused to replicate were on their minds. They felt that Manna was only a mere simulacrum of the luscious cuisine that they desired. Their craving for everything, manifested itself in punishment through the animal that has his most favored fare, anytime anywhere -- the snake. To a snake, all dust is desirous!

When the Jewish nation were both led and fed, through a hostile environment, yet complained that their miraculous bread is insubstantial, then the only correlation, powerful enough to make them mend their thoughtless ways was the bite of the very being who gains no enjoyment from what he bites, while having all he desires.

Our goal in life is to revel in the blessing, rejoice in all the good that we have, despite the shortcomings of a limited world, and the trivial amenities we may lack. One must learn to appreciate his head, even if he is missing his hat.

Dedicated in memory of Joseph Heller by Beth and Ben Heller and Family L'iluy Nishmas Reb Yoel Nosson ben Reb Chaim HaLevi Heller -- 9 Tamuz

Good Shabbos!

IMPJ HIGHLIGHTS RENEWAL AT BIENNIAL CONFERENCE

IMPJ HIGHLIGHTS RENEWAL AT BIENNIAL CONFERENCE

Some 1,100 people attended the 19th biennial conference of the Israel Movement for Progressive Judaism, held May 28-29 at Kibbutz Shefayim, on the Mediterranean coast north of Tel Aviv. The biennial was chaired by Paula Edelstein and Rachel Alkalai.

The conference coincided with the weekly Torah portion of Beha'alotcha, in which 70 elders gather around the ohel moed, or desert meeting tent, and are confirmed as members of the Sanhedrin in order to assist Moses with governance and in passing on the sacred teachings.

“They became partners in a mission, partaking of the spirit, bearing the burden and seeking to bring God’s word to the encampment of Israel,” says Rabbi Gilad Kariv, executive director of the IMPJ. “Whoever strolled around the conference center at Shefayim, which on that Shabbat had become the ohel moed of the Progressive communities, could certainly feel how this story from Beha'alotcha suited the gathering and the prevailing spirit, which ennobled not just 70 people, but some 1,100, and not just elders, but individuals all ages, from infants to senior citizens.”

The biennial included dozens of study sessions and workshops, as well as discussions on such subjects as the IMPJ’s activities on behalf of the general public, its role regarding the environment, and outreach efforts toward the Russian-speaking community and other groups. Special guests and speakers included Welfare Minister Yitzhak Herzog, Jewish Agency chairman Natan Sharansky and MK Yohanan Plessner.

“All of this indicates, says Kariv, “that we seek not to remain within an ohel moed that’s narrow and elitist, but to… work with everyone within the “encampment of Israel.”

The conference also saw the launch of a new publication on prayer in Israel, as well as “NiggunTube,” for documenting the prayer melodies of IMPJ congregations; the presentation of a new hymn for Noar Telem, the Israeli branch of Netzer Olami, the World Union’s international Zionist youth movement, and of a new branding and publicity effort for the IMPJ; and the unveiling of three new books by leading members of the movement. In addition, it marked the addition of two new congregations – Shirat Hayam-Carmel in Haifa, and Hashahar in Even Yehuda – and coincided with groundbreaking ceremonies for Progressive schools in Jaffa, Haifa and Modi’in.


Conference chairwomen Paula Edelstein (left) and Rachel Alkalai welcome participants.





Jewish Agency chairman Natan Sharansky (top) and Social Affairs Minister Yitzhak Herzog are old friends of the IMPJ.



World Union COO Shai Pinto (far left) and Honorary Life President Rabbi Richard G. Hirsch (third from left) were among the hundreds of conference-goers who participated in the opening ceremony.


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HANNOVER CONGREGANTS VISIT WITH FELLOW PROGRESSIVE JEWS IN RUSSIA

Eighteen members of Liberale Juedische Gemeinde–Hannover, the World Union affiliate in Hannover, Germany, recently traveled to St. Petersburg, Russia, to spend Shabbat with members of another World Union affiliate, Congregation Shaarei Shalom.

Led by congregational president Ingrid Wettberg, the visitors from Hannover joined in Kabbalat Shabbat services attended by some 80 people, as well as Shabbat Shacharit services the next morning, before touring the city and seeing many of its world-class attractions. Prayer services were led by Shaarei Shalom’s spiritual leader, Rabbi Helena Rubinstein, and by Cantor Dmitry Karpenko, who came from Moscow for this special event. “The atmosphere was very festive and friendly,” says Wettberg. “All of us felt a great desire to continue our cooperation in the future.”

Karpenko, who also led a session on the history of Jewish music, is a graduate of the World Union’s Institute for Modern Jewish Studies, also known as the Machon, which prepares community workers for Progressive congregations in the former Soviet Union. The program is also known to whet appetites for further Jewish studies, and many of its graduates, like Karpenko, have gone on to become cantors, educators and even rabbis.

Rubinstein, meanwhile, has appeared in The Jewish Standard of St. Petersburg, 5770, the first edition of what’s being planned as an annual “who’s who” in the city’s Jewish community. Individuals highlighted in the 5770 issue also include businessmen and women, people active in arts and culture, and professionals and laypeople involved in key social projects.

“The Reform congregation in the city has made an impression and cannot be ignored by those organizations that define themselves as Orthodox,” says Alex Kagan, director of the FSU for the World Union. “This is a very important precedent for the movement in St. Petersburg. Rabbi Rubinstein has been the spiritual leader of the congregation for six months, and during this time she has garnered respect and acceptance by the wider Jewish community.”


Rabbi Helena Rubinstein and Cantor Dmitry Karpenko lead Kabbalat Shabbat services in St. Petersburg for members of Congregation Shaarei Shalom
and their guests from Hannover
.


The congregation and guests during Shabbat morning services.


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80 YEARS OF PROGRESSIVE JUDAISM DOWN UNDER

The Union for Progressive Judaism (UPJ) of Australia, New Zealand and Asia is celebrating eight decades of an organized Progressive Jewish presence in that part of the world that started in 1930 with the establishment of what is now Temple Beth Israel in Melbourne.

As part of the celebrations, the region held a Shared Shabbat at affiliated congregations at the end of April. The UPJ was represented at each service by a member of its executive committee who made a presentation that focused on the history of Progressive Judaism in the region, and on the challenges and opportunities it currently faces.

“Our vision of the Shared Shabbat was to demonstrate the connection between each of our constituents, and allow them to mark this important milestone as one community,” said Penny Jakobovits, chair of the UPJ’s anniversary committee.

Another significant event to be marked during the anniversary celebrations will be the launch of the first-ever siddur to be adapted especially to the needs of Progressive congregations in the Southern Hemisphere – the World Union edition of Mishkan T’filah, which will be published by the CCAR Press in the next few months (see WUPJnews #363). In addition, the UPJ will bring in a number of international scholars, musicians and speakers, including Cantor Robbie Solomon, who will conduct a master class for cantorial lay leaders, and Paul Liptz of the World Union’s Anita Saltz International Education Center, who will work with regional educators.

The celebratory year will culminate with the UPJ biennial conference in Canberra in November, where the World Union will be represented by its chairman, Steven M. Bauman, its senior vice chairman, Michael Grabiner, its vice president and chief operating officer, Shai Pinto, and its vice president for international development, Rabbi Joel Oseran.

In 2010, the UPJ will also be marking a number of other major anniversaries, including 80 years for Melbourne’s Temple Beth Israel; 60 years for the Leo Baeck Centre in Kew, Victoria; 50 years for North Shore Temple Emanuel in Chatswood, New South Wales; 25 years for the Progressive minyan in Canberra (ACT); and 20 years for the United Jewish Congregation of Hong Kong.


As part of the UPJ’s 80th anniversary festivities, Brisbane Progressive Jewish Congregation and Temple Shalom-Gold Coast observed the UPJ Shared Shabbat together in Queensland. From left: Scott Leonard, Tony Leverton and Kate Lesser.


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UPCOMING EVENTS

July 8-11, 2010 – Annual conference of the Union of Progressive Jews in Germany, Spandau-Berlin

November 25-28, 2010 – Biennial conference of the Union for Progressive Judaism in Australia, Asia and New Zealand, Canberra, Australia

February 7-13, 2011Connections 2011, San Francisco

The Healing Snake: on Parshat Chukat (Numbers 19:1- 22:1)

The Healing Snake: on Parshat Chukat (Numbers 19:1- 22:1)

by Rabbi Celia Surget, Mouvement Juif Liberal de France (Paris)

The Israelites have returned to what appears to be one of their favorite activities and resume the complaints about the lack of food, lack of water, and a general repulsion of the provisions. After being punished by God who did not prevent the poisonous desert snakes from attacking them, they realize their mistake and turn to Moses for help. Moses is instructed to build a snake statue, and those who have been bitten will be healed upon looking at it. The use of the snake statue is a surprise, considering that the third of the Ten Commandments clearly states that we are forbidden from making “sculptured images or pictures if what is in the heavens above, what is on the earth below, and what is in the water below the earth” (Exodus 20;4). How then can we explain the “healing snake”?

There remains uncertainty concerning the presence of the snakes. In her “Studies in Bamidbar”, Nehama Leibowitz demonstrates the subtle message of the verb “vayeshalach” used about the snakes. According to her interpretation, the verb used in that form means “set free” or “let go”, thus meaning that the snakes were present in the desert (which is in keeping with the natural order of things), but up to that time, God had kept them at a distance from the Israelites. While in the desert, God also ensured that the Israelites were fed and had water. However, once they became incapable of acknowledging these miracles, God allowed nature to take over, and let the snakes roam about freely in the desert, biting whoever crossed their path.

Mishna Rosh Hashanah 3;5 asks the blunt question concerning the snake statue: “could the snake kill or could the snake heal”? What miracle powers did that snake have?

Numbers Rabba 19;22 explains that since the snake – through the use of words – was the cause of Adam and Eve’s transgressions, therefore the snake would be used to punish those who sinned through the use of words. There is something very visual about the image of a snake being used to define the fault of the word. A snake slithers, does not advance in a straight line, and can be harmful. In the same way, anyone using words without considering the content, or with the intention of hurting will act in the same manner, and try to avoid direct and honest responses.

The same Mishnah quote goes on to answer that the healing snake was a visual symbol, whose purpose was to remind the Israelites that the time had come to concentrate on more constructive and positive goals. It was meant to be directed upwards, reminiscent of the manner in which Moses has lifted his arms towards God, when the Israelites had been attacked by Amalek. This structure was meant as a way to help the Israelites reach out from the depths of anger, frustration, disappointment and bitterness in which they had fallen, to reclaim control over their lives and try and grow closer to holiness.

It is easy to let ourselves become indifferent to everyday “miracles”, to consider as a right what was once a privilege, to ignore kind gestures and become focused solely on what is negative in our environment. We all have snakes in our lives that play the same role as the one in the Garden of Eden did; however it is up to us to attempt to turn that snake into a blessing and rise above the hurt and the anger so that we to can enrich and enhance our lives.

Parshas Chukas Our Relevance to the Infinite

Beyond P'shat

Parshas Chukas
Our Relevance to the Infinite

Rabbi Yosef Kalatsky

1. Preserving Kiddush Hashem

The Torah tells us that before Korach and his community was about to be destroyed, Hashem informed Moshe that He was going to destroy the entire Klal Yisroel. Moshe said to Hashem," Since You know the intent of every man, why should everyone perish for the sins of the one who sinned?" Hashem responded that He would only destroy those who sinned against Him. Thus, only Korach and his followers were destroyed. The question is - why did Hashem initially consider eliminating the entire Jewish people when He knew that only Korach and his community were contesting Moshe's authority?

Rashi cites the Midrash which explains what Moshe had said to Hashem. If a group of people rises up against their king and attempts to usurp his authority, the reason that he destroys the entire community is because he does not know who was involved in the rebellion. Rashi continues, You Hashem, that You know who is usurping Your authority, You should destroy them and not the entire Jewish people. It seems from the Torah that if it were not for Moshe's intervention and plea, Hashem would have destroyed all of the Jewish people. How do we understand this? If they are not guilty why do they deserve to be destroyed?

After acquiescing to Moshe's plea, the land opened its mouth and swallowed-up Korach and his entire community. The Mishna tells us that the mouth of the earth that swallowed Korach and his followers was created at the end of the Sixth Day of Creation during the twilight period. It was formed specifically to bring Divine retribution upon Korach and his entire community. This miracle was intended to convey to the Jewish people that Moshe's word is the Word of Hashem. Having witnessed this tragic event, one would think that the Jewish people who survived would have proclaimed Moshe as the communicator of the Word of Hashem. However the Torah tells us differently.

The next day the Jewish people approached Moshe and Aaron with a complaint saying, "You killed the people of Hashem. You were too harsh with them." After witnessing such a revealed and undisputable miracle demonstrating the Attribute of Justice, how could the Jews react in such a manner? As a result of their insolence, Hashem caused a plague to come upon them and over 14,000 people perished. How do we understand this?

The fact is that although the Jewish people themselves did not attempt to usurp Moshe's authority there was nevertheless a degree of culpability on a communal level. When Korach and his followers openly confronted Moshe with a disgraceful accusation (contesting his word, which is synonymous with the Word of Hashem) the entire Jewish people remained silent. If they had truly understood and appreciated Moshe Rabbeinu, the Jews would not have tolerated Korach's attack. The fact that they remained silent was an indication that the Jewish people themselves were not entirely convinced of the authenticity of the Torah. The silence of the Jewish people in this situation was a desecration of Hashem's name (Chilul Hashem). The liability of Chilul Hashem is so severe that one can only be atoned when he dies. This is the reason why Hashem initially was going to destroy the entire Jewish people. However, Moshe came to their defense and Hashem acquiesced to Moshe's request.

When the Jews accused Moshe of being too harsh with Korach and his community, Hashem brought a plague upon them. This accusation against Moshe revisited the issue of Chilul Hashem. Their complaint against Moshe was a clear indication that they did not fully grasp the gravity of the wrongdoing of Korach and his cohorts. Therefore they were struck with a devastating plague.

Moshe could not intervene on behalf of Klal Yisroel to stop the plague. If this is the case, then how did it come to an end? Rashi cites the Midrash which explains that after the death of Korach and his follower, the Jewish people believed that the incense offering had the ability to kill those who burned it. The Jews believed that the reason why Korach and his group were killed was because there was something lethal in the incense offering that they brought.

When Moshe was in heaven at the time he was receiving the Torah, the Angel of Death gave him a gift, which was the secret of how to stop a plague - the burning of the incense. Moshe therefore told Aaron to go immediately into the midst of the camp and burn the incense, thus causing the plague to cease. Observing this, the Jewish people understood that the incense was not at all lethal but that it was in fact one of the most exalted types of offerings. Through this action, Moshe brought about a sanctification of Hashem's name (Kiddush Hashem) by having Aaron burn the incense in the midst of the camp to demonstrate its value. Fourteen thousand people died as a result of the plague because of Chilul Hashem and only after the burning of the incense did it come to an end because of witnessing Kiddush Hashem.

2. Our Relevance to the Infinite

The Torah introduces the Laws of the Parah Adumah (the Red Heifer) with, "This is the Statute of the Torah, which Hashem has commanded, saying: Speak to the Children of Israel, and they shall take to you a completely red cow..." The Parah Adumah is an essential element in the removal of spiritual contamination caused by coming in contact with human remains (tumaas mais).Whenever the Torah presents a Statute it makes a particular reference such as "This is the Statute of the Pesach (Pascal Lamb)." Therefore the Ohr HaChaim HaKadosh asks - if the Torah is going to present the particular laws dealing with spiritual contamination and its removal, shouldn't it have referred to the process as, "This is the Statute of spiritual contamination or purity..."? So why does the Torah say "This is the Statute of the Torah..."? Evidently the Statute of the Parah Adumah is somehow related to the Torah in its entirety. How do we understand this?

The Ohr HaChaim elucidates this difficulty with a fundamental principle. The Halacha is that only a Jew is susceptible to any type of spiritual contamination. If a non-Jew comes in contact with the remains of a human being he will not become contaminated. In addition, the spiritual contamination which emanates from the remains of a non-Jew is not as pervasive as that of a Jew. For example, the remains of a non-Jew only contaminate upon contact. Whereas, the remains of the Jew not only contaminate upon contact but also through being exposed under the same roof or enclosure (ohel).The Ohr HaChaim explains that the reason for this difference between the contamination that emanates from a Jew and that which emanates from a non-Jew is because the dimension of their souls (nishamas) is fundamentally different. Before the Sinai experience when the Jews received the Torah and became "G-d's chosen people," there was no spiritual difference between the family of Yaakov (the Jews) and the nations of the world. All people were bound only by the Seven Laws of Noah. When we became G-d's people, the Holy Nation, we became bound to Hashem. As it is stated in the Zohar, "The Jewish people, the Torah, and Hashem are one," meaning that the Jews are intertwined with Hashem through the Torah that unites them.

The Ohr HaChaim explains that there are many nether forces in this world which seek to be nurtured by holiness and therefore attach themselves to the Jewish people whose holiness emanates from their linkage to G-d. When the Torah states, "This is the Statute of the Torah..." it wants to reveal the basis for the Jew's susceptibility to contamination which is a result of our receiving the Torah at Sinai. Because we became the holy people at Sinai though the giving of the Torah we thus became subject to spiritual contamination. However, if we had not accepted the Torah at Sinai, we would not have any susceptibility to contamination just as the non-Jew.

The Statute dealing with the Parah Adumah (Red Heifer) is the most incomprehensible of all of the Statutes of the Torah. Even King Solomon who was the wisest man who ever lived could not fathom it. As he says (Koheles 7:23), "It is distant from me..." Why should this Statute be more difficult to understand than all of the others? The answer is - just as it is not possible to comprehend the depth and the breadth of the Torah in its entirety because it is the encapsulation of the infinite wisdom of Hashem, so too, it is impossible to understand the Statute of the Parah Adumah because it is rooted in our spiritual dimension which is linked to the infinite (Hashem).

The Gemara in Tractate Haggigah says that one is not permitted to speculate about what existed prior to existence because it is beyond the human capacity of comprehension. Identically, this is true with the spiritual mechanics of the Parah Adumah. Just as Hashem is beyond our grasp and comprehension so is the Parah Adumah which addresses the spiritual make-up of the Jewish people.

We see that although there are concepts that are beyond our understanding and frame of reference we can still have relevance to them. As the Ramchal explains in his work The Way of G-d, the Jew can become part of an infinite system when he attaches himself to Hashem, although the human being himself is finite. The fact that we have relevance to spiritual contamination on the most intense level is an indication that we are connected to the infinite as a result of the Torah.

3. Appreciating Miriam

The Gemara in Tractate Taanis tells us that the Jewish people had three special caretakers - Moshe, Aaron, and Miriam. The Jewish people were the recipients of three special gifts - the wellspring, the Clouds of Glory, and the Mann. The wellspring was in the merit of Miriam. The Clouds of Glory were in the merit of Aaron and the Mann was in the merit of Moshe. The Gemara quotes a verse in Zacharia which states," I removed the three shepherds in one month." This verse indicates that Moshe, Aaron, and Miriam all passed away in the same month. The fact is that each of them passed away in different months. The Gemara states that this is not the case because Miriam passed away in the month of Nissan, Aaron in Av, and Moshe in Adar. How does the Gemara resolve the seeming contradiction between the verse and fact?

The Gemara answers - that when Miriam passed away the wellspring ceased to flow and it was only reinstated in the merit of Moshe. After Aaron passed away the Clouds of Glory were dispersed and were also quickly reinstated in the merit of Moshe. The Gemara explains that since the Jewish people had what was taken from them replaced quickly, albeit in the merit of Moshe, they did not sense the loss of Miriam and Aaron who were their benefactors for close to forty years. It was not until Moshe Rabbeinu passed away and all of these gifts ceased to be that the Jewish people internalized the loss of the "three special shepherds of Israel." Although the Jewish people understood that each of the miracles from which they derived continuous benefit was in the merit of each of these individuals, nevertheless, they had not internalized the reality of the loss until Moshe passed away.

The Torah states, "Vayavou b'nai Yisroel kol haaida midbar tzin (The Children of Israel, the whole assembly, arrived at the Zin Desert...)" The Ohr HaChaim HaKodesh asks - if the Torah tells us that the "B'nai Yisroel (The Children of Israel) arrived at the desert," why is it necessary to say "the whole assembly"? It seems to be totally superfluous. It is understood that if the "Children of Israel" arrived it means the "whole assembly." The Ohr HaChaim answers that the Torah uses a number of appellations when referring to the Jewish people. For example, there are times when the Jewish people are referred to as "am (people)," which is an indication that at that moment they are ordinary or at a failing spiritual level. However when the Torah uses the appellation of "B'nai Yisroel (Children of Israel)," it is to indicate that they are at a special spiritual level. The Ohr HaChaim explains that when the Torah states "B'nai Yisroel...The entire assembly" it is to indicate that when they arrived at the Desert of Zin all of the Jews were at the special level of "B'nai Yisroel."

The Torah tells us that when the B'nai Yisroel arrived at the Desert of Zin, Miriam passed away and they had no water to drink because the wellspring ceased to exist. Their predicament caused them to complain vehemently against Moshe and Aaron. It is important to understand who these people were. The Torah reveals to us that at this moment they were all within the classification of "B'nai Yisroel." Despite their advanced spiritual level, they understood that they were not sufficiently worthy for the wellspring to continue. This understanding caused them to fully comprehend and appreciate who Miriam was.

One could ask - if in fact the wellspring was reinstated in the merit of Moshe, why was it necessary to have any interruption to the flow of water? However with the Ohr HaChaim's explanation it is understood that it only occurred so that the people would appreciate the special level of Miriam. It was solely in her merit (unrelated to them or Moshe) that they were provided with this miracle of water.

It is interesting to note that Moshe's failing through the hitting of the rock (rather than speaking to it) only came about as a result of the cessation of the wellspring. If Hashem had not caused the wellspring to stop flowing, Moshe would not have failed. Although Hashem was fully aware that Moshe would fail and consequently be denied the right to enter into the Land, He nevertheless caused the wellspring to cease in order for the Jewish people to recognize and understand Miriam's dimension of spirituality. From this we are able to learn the great value of recognizing the specialness of a tzaddik.

4. The Significance of Performing a Mitzvah in a More Perfect Manner

The Torah tells us that after Miriam passed away the water ceased to flow and Moshe was told by Hashem to speak to the rock to give forth its water. However, rather than speaking to it Moshe struck the rock. The Sforno explains that if Moshe had spoken to the rock, he would have brought about a revealed miracle that would have been at a higher level than if he struck it. However since Moshe struck the rock he did not bring about the Kiddush Hashem (Sanctification of G-d's Name) that would have resulted from his speaking to it. As a result of this failing, Moshe and Aaron had to pass away before the Jews entered the Land of Israel. As much as Moshe pleaded with Hashem for forgiveness, Hashem did not listen to his pleas because he had the opportunity to Sanctify G-d's Name and he did not.

Seemingly, if Moshe would have spoken to the Rock and brought about a Kiddush Hashem, he would have been able to enter into the Land. The Early Commentators explain that had Moshe entered into the Land, the Bais HaMikdash (The Temple) would have been built immediately and the world would have come to its level of perfection. If Moshe had spoken to the rock and the Jews would have witnessed it giving forth its water, then that experience would have elevated them to a spiritual level making them worthy to enter the Land of Israel. However, since Moshe did not bring about that Kiddush Hashem, the Jews did not experience what was needed for their spiritual perfection. Thus, Moshe could not cross into the Land because the Jews were not ready to live within a perfect existence.

The Gemara in Tractate Bava Metzia states that the manner in which Avraham Our Patriarch hosted the visiting angels determined the manner in which Hashem accommodated the needs of the Jewish people in the desert. The Talmud states that any act of hospitality which Avraham performed himself resulted in a miracle coming directly from Hashem without any human intervention. However any act of hospitality that was brought about through an intermediary, Hashem allowed the corresponding miracle to come only though an intermediary. The Gemara explains that since Avraham offered the bread himself, the Jewish people received the Mann (Manna) in the desert. Because of the shade of the tree that was offered by Avraham to protect his guests, we merited the Clouds of Glory which protected the Jews in the desert for forty years. However since Avraham offered the water to the angels through an intermediary (to wash their feet) the Jews received the water through Moshe Rabbeinu who had to extract the water from the rock. If Avraham had performed the Mitzvah of hosting guests in a more perfect way, (by providing water for the angels himself), the opportunity for Moshe to strike the rock would not have existed.

We see from Avraham's participation in the Mitzvah of hospitality that the consequences of not performing a Mitzvah in the most perfect manner possible have far reaching effects (although Avraham was not culpable for this). Seemingly, if the water had been provided to the Jewish people directly without the need for Moshe's participation as an intermediary, Moshe would have not failed. Thus, the world would have been brought to a level of perfection and the purpose of existence would have been fulfilled.

With this understanding, we should examine the way in which we perform Mitzvos. Do we strive to perform Mitzvos in the most perfect way? Meaning, do we understand the far-reaching value of this level of performance? Or is this something not even taken into consideration? We do not understand or realize to what degree our Mitzvah performance impacts on other people (e.g. through example) nor do we understand the intrinsic spiritual energy that is brought into the world by performing a Mitzvah on a more perfect level.

We read in Pirkei Avos (Ethics of Our Fathers) that that there were ten generations from Adam to Noach and ten generations from Noach to Avraham. The Mishna tells us that Avraham was worthy of receiving all the merit of the ten generations from Noach to Avraham. How is this possible? One would think that we receive reward based on what we personally accomplish. Rabbeinu Yona, in his commentary on Pirkei Avos, explains that the world needs a certain degree of perfection and this perfection can only be brought about through the performance of the Mitzvos. Avraham was the only individual in his time to introduce the reality of Hashem as the Omnipotent power and Creator of the world. All of mankind rejected Avraham's position and did not participate to any degree in the spiritual perfection of the world (serving Hashem) because they were pagans. Thus Avraham, through his espousing of monotheism, brought about the level of perfection that was meant to be achieved by the members of the ten generations from Noach to Avraham.

Unfortunately, in our times the vast majority of the Jewish people are not committed to the observance of Mitzvos and the study of Torah. Nevertheless their participation is needed for the world to become perfected and this is not happening. Therefore a Jew whose life is committed to Torah and Mitzvos on a qualitative level has unlimited merit because he brings about a level of perfection to existence at a time when so many others are not. We should therefore try to perform Mitzvos in a more perfect manner and we will be able to affect the world as a whole and bring about the ultimate redemption.

5. Obstacles, Blessing or Curse?

The Jewish people were meant to enter the Land of Israel after a forty-year period of wandering. In the final year before the Jews entered into the land, they experienced numerous difficulties. At the beginning of the fortieth year Miriam passed away and the wellspring ceased to flow. The Jews immediately began to complain to Moshe that they would die in the desert if they did not have water to drink. As a result of this confrontation, Moshe struck the rock rather than speaking to it, thus causing him to forfeit the right to enter into the Land. Soon after this, Aaron passed away; the Clouds of Glory were dispersed and reinstated in the merit of Moshe Rabbeinu.

After the passing of Aaron, the Jews began to complain about the Mann (Manna) saying, "...our soul is disgusted with this insubstantial food." It is a wonder that after forty years of wandering in the desert and being sustained by the Mann that the Jewish people started to complain about it on the brink of their arrival to the Promised Land. As a result of their ungrateful behavior, Hashem sent the serpents to bite the Jews and many perished.

The Torah tells us that the Amorites planned to ambush the Jewish people as they traveled through a mountain pass; however, Hashem brought about a miracle that destroyed those who were waiting in ambush. Rashi cites the Midrash that says that the Amorites were hiding in caves along side the road that the Jews were going to take. Hashem caused the mountains to come together and the protrusions on one side crushed the Amorites in the caves. The body parts of the Amorites were washed away by the water that cascaded through the mountain. As the Jews passed the location between the mountains they saw rising up in the wellspring many body parts of human remains. They realized that Hashem had performed a miracle by destroying their enemy and averting the destruction of the Jewish people. The Jews sang songs of praise to Hashem for this miracle.

After this incident, the Jews engaged in the worship of Baal Paor, which was idolatry, and they cohabited with the Moabite women. Once again the Wrath of Hashem came upon the Jews and resulted in many casualties.

This entire chain of events from the passing of Miriam to the incident of the Baal Paor took place during the fortieth year after many years of wandering when the Jews were about to enter into the Promised Land. The question is - why did the Jews face such difficult tests at this point when they were about to enter the Land of Israel?

The Gemara tells us that that the end of the winter is the coldest part of the winter and the conclusion of summer is the hottest part of the summer. The Commentators explain that G-d created existence in a manner that whenever a transition is about to take place the move from one state of affairs to another is always the most intense due to the resistance of change. This is the reason why the night it darkest before the dawn. Therefore they explain this is the reason why the bondage of Egypt had to intensify after Moshe came to redeem the Jewish people. The transition from bondage to redemption caused the intensification of hardship to resist the imminent redemption.

The Jewish people were about to enter into the Land of Israel where they were going to reach a new dimension of spirituality. In this location the Jews were meant to fulfill the Torah in its entirety and thus achieve an advanced level of spirituality. Because of this change that was about to take place, Satan created an overwhelming level of resistance - not to allow this to occur. The desert location was the preparatory stage for this transition into the Promised Land.

It is true that whenever we are about to reach a spiritual milestone, we will always incur difficulties as a result of the transitional process to another level. Despite the level of clarity which the Jews had in the desert, nevertheless, they were subjected to many distractions and temptation due to the transition which was about to occur. If the generation that had the greatest level of clarity (the generation of the desert) experienced stumbling blocks and distractions prior to achieving a new spiritual milestone, how much more so are we susceptible? Chazal tell us that all beginnings come with great difficulty, especially when they have the potential to lead us along a spiritual path. The fact is that if we do experience obstacles in our ascent to spirituality, then it is an indication that we are about to undergo positive change that is worthwhile achieving.

6. Truth can only be Perceived through Humility.

The Torah tells us that Bilaam was the prophet of the nations of the world and his level of prophecy was at the level of Moshe Rabbeinu. Despite the fact that Hashem communicated with Bilaam at the same level as Moshe, Bilaam was nevertheless a person who could only be controlled by Hashem's saying "No." One would think that a person who prophesizes at such a level would have the clarity that would cause him to be a pious and righteous person. How is it possible that Bilaam, despite his understanding of Hashem and what He wants from him, could be so evil and corrupted?

The Mishna in Pirkei Avos states, "A person who has the three characteristics: Ayin Tovah (Good Eye), Ruach Nemucha (Humble Spirit), and Nefesh Shefelah (Minimal physical needs) is considered to be a student of Avraham Avinu." If a person has Ayin Tovah, he is truly happy when he sees his fellow human being experience good fortune. A person who has Ruach Nemucha is humble and not self-absorbed. And a person who has Nefesh Shefelah is satisfied with even the most minimal physical requirements. If one has these three characteristics, then he is considered a disciple of Avraham.

On the other hand, the Mishna continues, "A person who has the three characteristics of Ayin Raah (Evil Eye), Ruach Gevoha (Inflated Spirit), and Nefesh Rechava (Insatiable Desire) is considered to be a student of Bilaam the evil one." If a person is pained by another's good fortune and he is arrogant, haughty, and brazen and has an insatiable appetite for materialism, he is considered a disciple of Bilaam. For example, the Torah states that Bilaam said to Balak, "Even if you give me a house filled with gold and silver it would not be enough..." Although Bilaam was a commoner, he believed that he should have had the wealth of a king.

The Gemara in Tractate Berachos tells us that Avraham Avinu was the only human being to recognize Hashem completely on his own. As the Torah tells us, that Avraham referred to Hashem as, "Adon-ai (Master)." How was it possible for Avraham to recognize G-d's Presence in existence despite the world's devotion to paganism? The three most humble people that ever lived were - Avraham, Moshe, and Dovid HaMelech (King David). Avraham had a quality of humility, which could not be found in anyone else in existence. He was not self-absorbed to any degree and his focus was completely out of himself. He never considered "the I" or "the Me." The only way a person can perceive truth is if he focuses outwardly rather than inwardly on his own needs. If a person is self-absorbed with himself then that person's only agenda is to satisfy his needs to the exclusion of all else.

Hashem, the Creator and Master of the Universe spoke directly to Bilaam; however, because he was so consumed with his own agenda and ego, Bilaam could not internalize truth to any degree. He was arrogant, brazen, and pursued hedonism despite his understanding of Hashem because all that mattered was satisfying himself.

Ego can cause one to be oblivious to the realities of life. A person who is self-absorbed can be exposed and privy to the greatest source of wisdom and spirituality and still remain totally unaffected. A doctor once told a story about a heart patient of his who was advised not to travel to a location more than half an hour from a hospital. Despite the concern of the doctor, the patient insisted on going on a cruise that would take him far from any medical facility. He told the doctor, "I want to go on this cruise and I take full responsibility if I die on the ship!" How is it possible for a person to behave so irresponsibly at the risk of loosing his life? How could a cruise that lasts only a few days have greater value than living several more years? The answer is - if the "I" and the "Me" are important, then nothing matters at that moment other than satisfying one's own needs.

It was because of Avraham Avinu's humility that he was able to perceive Hashem and the truth despite the fact that he existed in a pagan world. Contrastingly, it was because of Bilaam's insatiable ego that he could not perceive truth despite his open relationship with Hashem.

Beyond P'shat

Beyond P'shat

Parshas Chukas
Our Relevance to the Infinite

Rabbi Yosef Kalatsky

1. Preserving Kiddush Hashem

The Torah tells us that before Korach and his community was about to be destroyed, Hashem informed Moshe that He was going to destroy the entire Klal Yisroel. Moshe said to Hashem," Since You know the intent of every man, why should everyone perish for the sins of the one who sinned?" Hashem responded that He would only destroy those who sinned against Him. Thus, only Korach and his followers were destroyed. The question is - why did Hashem initially consider eliminating the entire Jewish people when He knew that only Korach and his community were contesting Moshe's authority?

Rashi cites the Midrash which explains what Moshe had said to Hashem. If a group of people rises up against their king and attempts to usurp his authority, the reason that he destroys the entire community is because he does not know who was involved in the rebellion. Rashi continues, You Hashem, that You know who is usurping Your authority, You should destroy them and not the entire Jewish people. It seems from the Torah that if it were not for Moshe's intervention and plea, Hashem would have destroyed all of the Jewish people. How do we understand this? If they are not guilty why do they deserve to be destroyed?

After acquiescing to Moshe's plea, the land opened its mouth and swallowed-up Korach and his entire community. The Mishna tells us that the mouth of the earth that swallowed Korach and his followers was created at the end of the Sixth Day of Creation during the twilight period. It was formed specifically to bring Divine retribution upon Korach and his entire community. This miracle was intended to convey to the Jewish people that Moshe's word is the Word of Hashem. Having witnessed this tragic event, one would think that the Jewish people who survived would have proclaimed Moshe as the communicator of the Word of Hashem. However the Torah tells us differently.

The next day the Jewish people approached Moshe and Aaron with a complaint saying, "You killed the people of Hashem. You were too harsh with them." After witnessing such a revealed and undisputable miracle demonstrating the Attribute of Justice, how could the Jews react in such a manner? As a result of their insolence, Hashem caused a plague to come upon them and over 14,000 people perished. How do we understand this?

The fact is that although the Jewish people themselves did not attempt to usurp Moshe's authority there was nevertheless a degree of culpability on a communal level. When Korach and his followers openly confronted Moshe with a disgraceful accusation (contesting his word, which is synonymous with the Word of Hashem) the entire Jewish people remained silent. If they had truly understood and appreciated Moshe Rabbeinu, the Jews would not have tolerated Korach's attack. The fact that they remained silent was an indication that the Jewish people themselves were not entirely convinced of the authenticity of the Torah. The silence of the Jewish people in this situation was a desecration of Hashem's name (Chilul Hashem). The liability of Chilul Hashem is so severe that one can only be atoned when he dies. This is the reason why Hashem initially was going to destroy the entire Jewish people. However, Moshe came to their defense and Hashem acquiesced to Moshe's request.

When the Jews accused Moshe of being too harsh with Korach and his community, Hashem brought a plague upon them. This accusation against Moshe revisited the issue of Chilul Hashem. Their complaint against Moshe was a clear indication that they did not fully grasp the gravity of the wrongdoing of Korach and his cohorts. Therefore they were struck with a devastating plague.

Moshe could not intervene on behalf of Klal Yisroel to stop the plague. If this is the case, then how did it come to an end? Rashi cites the Midrash which explains that after the death of Korach and his follower, the Jewish people believed that the incense offering had the ability to kill those who burned it. The Jews believed that the reason why Korach and his group were killed was because there was something lethal in the incense offering that they brought.

When Moshe was in heaven at the time he was receiving the Torah, the Angel of Death gave him a gift, which was the secret of how to stop a plague - the burning of the incense. Moshe therefore told Aaron to go immediately into the midst of the camp and burn the incense, thus causing the plague to cease. Observing this, the Jewish people understood that the incense was not at all lethal but that it was in fact one of the most exalted types of offerings. Through this action, Moshe brought about a sanctification of Hashem's name (Kiddush Hashem) by having Aaron burn the incense in the midst of the camp to demonstrate its value. Fourteen thousand people died as a result of the plague because of Chilul Hashem and only after the burning of the incense did it come to an end because of witnessing Kiddush Hashem.

2. Our Relevance to the Infinite

The Torah introduces the Laws of the Parah Adumah (the Red Heifer) with, "This is the Statute of the Torah, which Hashem has commanded, saying: Speak to the Children of Israel, and they shall take to you a completely red cow..." The Parah Adumah is an essential element in the removal of spiritual contamination caused by coming in contact with human remains (tumaas mais).Whenever the Torah presents a Statute it makes a particular reference such as "This is the Statute of the Pesach (Pascal Lamb)." Therefore the Ohr HaChaim HaKadosh asks - if the Torah is going to present the particular laws dealing with spiritual contamination and its removal, shouldn't it have referred to the process as, "This is the Statute of spiritual contamination or purity..."? So why does the Torah say "This is the Statute of the Torah..."? Evidently the Statute of the Parah Adumah is somehow related to the Torah in its entirety. How do we understand this?

The Ohr HaChaim elucidates this difficulty with a fundamental principle. The Halacha is that only a Jew is susceptible to any type of spiritual contamination. If a non-Jew comes in contact with the remains of a human being he will not become contaminated. In addition, the spiritual contamination which emanates from the remains of a non-Jew is not as pervasive as that of a Jew. For example, the remains of a non-Jew only contaminate upon contact. Whereas, the remains of the Jew not only contaminate upon contact but also through being exposed under the same roof or enclosure (ohel).The Ohr HaChaim explains that the reason for this difference between the contamination that emanates from a Jew and that which emanates from a non-Jew is because the dimension of their souls (nishamas) is fundamentally different. Before the Sinai experience when the Jews received the Torah and became "G-d's chosen people," there was no spiritual difference between the family of Yaakov (the Jews) and the nations of the world. All people were bound only by the Seven Laws of Noah. When we became G-d's people, the Holy Nation, we became bound to Hashem. As it is stated in the Zohar, "The Jewish people, the Torah, and Hashem are one," meaning that the Jews are intertwined with Hashem through the Torah that unites them.

The Ohr HaChaim explains that there are many nether forces in this world which seek to be nurtured by holiness and therefore attach themselves to the Jewish people whose holiness emanates from their linkage to G-d. When the Torah states, "This is the Statute of the Torah..." it wants to reveal the basis for the Jew's susceptibility to contamination which is a result of our receiving the Torah at Sinai. Because we became the holy people at Sinai though the giving of the Torah we thus became subject to spiritual contamination. However, if we had not accepted the Torah at Sinai, we would not have any susceptibility to contamination just as the non-Jew.

The Statute dealing with the Parah Adumah (Red Heifer) is the most incomprehensible of all of the Statutes of the Torah. Even King Solomon who was the wisest man who ever lived could not fathom it. As he says (Koheles 7:23), "It is distant from me..." Why should this Statute be more difficult to understand than all of the others? The answer is - just as it is not possible to comprehend the depth and the breadth of the Torah in its entirety because it is the encapsulation of the infinite wisdom of Hashem, so too, it is impossible to understand the Statute of the Parah Adumah because it is rooted in our spiritual dimension which is linked to the infinite (Hashem).

The Gemara in Tractate Haggigah says that one is not permitted to speculate about what existed prior to existence because it is beyond the human capacity of comprehension. Identically, this is true with the spiritual mechanics of the Parah Adumah. Just as Hashem is beyond our grasp and comprehension so is the Parah Adumah which addresses the spiritual make-up of the Jewish people.

We see that although there are concepts that are beyond our understanding and frame of reference we can still have relevance to them. As the Ramchal explains in his work The Way of G-d, the Jew can become part of an infinite system when he attaches himself to Hashem, although the human being himself is finite. The fact that we have relevance to spiritual contamination on the most intense level is an indication that we are connected to the infinite as a result of the Torah.

3. Appreciating Miriam

The Gemara in Tractate Taanis tells us that the Jewish people had three special caretakers - Moshe, Aaron, and Miriam. The Jewish people were the recipients of three special gifts - the wellspring, the Clouds of Glory, and the Mann. The wellspring was in the merit of Miriam. The Clouds of Glory were in the merit of Aaron and the Mann was in the merit of Moshe. The Gemara quotes a verse in Zacharia which states," I removed the three shepherds in one month." This verse indicates that Moshe, Aaron, and Miriam all passed away in the same month. The fact is that each of them passed away in different months. The Gemara states that this is not the case because Miriam passed away in the month of Nissan, Aaron in Av, and Moshe in Adar. How does the Gemara resolve the seeming contradiction between the verse and fact?

The Gemara answers - that when Miriam passed away the wellspring ceased to flow and it was only reinstated in the merit of Moshe. After Aaron passed away the Clouds of Glory were dispersed and were also quickly reinstated in the merit of Moshe. The Gemara explains that since the Jewish people had what was taken from them replaced quickly, albeit in the merit of Moshe, they did not sense the loss of Miriam and Aaron who were their benefactors for close to forty years. It was not until Moshe Rabbeinu passed away and all of these gifts ceased to be that the Jewish people internalized the loss of the "three special shepherds of Israel." Although the Jewish people understood that each of the miracles from which they derived continuous benefit was in the merit of each of these individuals, nevertheless, they had not internalized the reality of the loss until Moshe passed away.

The Torah states, "Vayavou b'nai Yisroel kol haaida midbar tzin (The Children of Israel, the whole assembly, arrived at the Zin Desert...)" The Ohr HaChaim HaKodesh asks - if the Torah tells us that the "B'nai Yisroel (The Children of Israel) arrived at the desert," why is it necessary to say "the whole assembly"? It seems to be totally superfluous. It is understood that if the "Children of Israel" arrived it means the "whole assembly." The Ohr HaChaim answers that the Torah uses a number of appellations when referring to the Jewish people. For example, there are times when the Jewish people are referred to as "am (people)," which is an indication that at that moment they are ordinary or at a failing spiritual level. However when the Torah uses the appellation of "B'nai Yisroel (Children of Israel)," it is to indicate that they are at a special spiritual level. The Ohr HaChaim explains that when the Torah states "B'nai Yisroel...The entire assembly" it is to indicate that when they arrived at the Desert of Zin all of the Jews were at the special level of "B'nai Yisroel."

The Torah tells us that when the B'nai Yisroel arrived at the Desert of Zin, Miriam passed away and they had no water to drink because the wellspring ceased to exist. Their predicament caused them to complain vehemently against Moshe and Aaron. It is important to understand who these people were. The Torah reveals to us that at this moment they were all within the classification of "B'nai Yisroel." Despite their advanced spiritual level, they understood that they were not sufficiently worthy for the wellspring to continue. This understanding caused them to fully comprehend and appreciate who Miriam was.

One could ask - if in fact the wellspring was reinstated in the merit of Moshe, why was it necessary to have any interruption to the flow of water? However with the Ohr HaChaim's explanation it is understood that it only occurred so that the people would appreciate the special level of Miriam. It was solely in her merit (unrelated to them or Moshe) that they were provided with this miracle of water.

It is interesting to note that Moshe's failing through the hitting of the rock (rather than speaking to it) only came about as a result of the cessation of the wellspring. If Hashem had not caused the wellspring to stop flowing, Moshe would not have failed. Although Hashem was fully aware that Moshe would fail and consequently be denied the right to enter into the Land, He nevertheless caused the wellspring to cease in order for the Jewish people to recognize and understand Miriam's dimension of spirituality. From this we are able to learn the great value of recognizing the specialness of a tzaddik.

4. The Significance of Performing a Mitzvah in a More Perfect Manner

The Torah tells us that after Miriam passed away the water ceased to flow and Moshe was told by Hashem to speak to the rock to give forth its water. However, rather than speaking to it Moshe struck the rock. The Sforno explains that if Moshe had spoken to the rock, he would have brought about a revealed miracle that would have been at a higher level than if he struck it. However since Moshe struck the rock he did not bring about the Kiddush Hashem (Sanctification of G-d's Name) that would have resulted from his speaking to it. As a result of this failing, Moshe and Aaron had to pass away before the Jews entered the Land of Israel. As much as Moshe pleaded with Hashem for forgiveness, Hashem did not listen to his pleas because he had the opportunity to Sanctify G-d's Name and he did not.

Seemingly, if Moshe would have spoken to the Rock and brought about a Kiddush Hashem, he would have been able to enter into the Land. The Early Commentators explain that had Moshe entered into the Land, the Bais HaMikdash (The Temple) would have been built immediately and the world would have come to its level of perfection. If Moshe had spoken to the rock and the Jews would have witnessed it giving forth its water, then that experience would have elevated them to a spiritual level making them worthy to enter the Land of Israel. However, since Moshe did not bring about that Kiddush Hashem, the Jews did not experience what was needed for their spiritual perfection. Thus, Moshe could not cross into the Land because the Jews were not ready to live within a perfect existence.

The Gemara in Tractate Bava Metzia states that the manner in which Avraham Our Patriarch hosted the visiting angels determined the manner in which Hashem accommodated the needs of the Jewish people in the desert. The Talmud states that any act of hospitality which Avraham performed himself resulted in a miracle coming directly from Hashem without any human intervention. However any act of hospitality that was brought about through an intermediary, Hashem allowed the corresponding miracle to come only though an intermediary. The Gemara explains that since Avraham offered the bread himself, the Jewish people received the Mann (Manna) in the desert. Because of the shade of the tree that was offered by Avraham to protect his guests, we merited the Clouds of Glory which protected the Jews in the desert for forty years. However since Avraham offered the water to the angels through an intermediary (to wash their feet) the Jews received the water through Moshe Rabbeinu who had to extract the water from the rock. If Avraham had performed the Mitzvah of hosting guests in a more perfect way, (by providing water for the angels himself), the opportunity for Moshe to strike the rock would not have existed.

We see from Avraham's participation in the Mitzvah of hospitality that the consequences of not performing a Mitzvah in the most perfect manner possible have far reaching effects (although Avraham was not culpable for this). Seemingly, if the water had been provided to the Jewish people directly without the need for Moshe's participation as an intermediary, Moshe would have not failed. Thus, the world would have been brought to a level of perfection and the purpose of existence would have been fulfilled.

With this understanding, we should examine the way in which we perform Mitzvos. Do we strive to perform Mitzvos in the most perfect way? Meaning, do we understand the far-reaching value of this level of performance? Or is this something not even taken into consideration? We do not understand or realize to what degree our Mitzvah performance impacts on other people (e.g. through example) nor do we understand the intrinsic spiritual energy that is brought into the world by performing a Mitzvah on a more perfect level.

We read in Pirkei Avos (Ethics of Our Fathers) that that there were ten generations from Adam to Noach and ten generations from Noach to Avraham. The Mishna tells us that Avraham was worthy of receiving all the merit of the ten generations from Noach to Avraham. How is this possible? One would think that we receive reward based on what we personally accomplish. Rabbeinu Yona, in his commentary on Pirkei Avos, explains that the world needs a certain degree of perfection and this perfection can only be brought about through the performance of the Mitzvos. Avraham was the only individual in his time to introduce the reality of Hashem as the Omnipotent power and Creator of the world. All of mankind rejected Avraham's position and did not participate to any degree in the spiritual perfection of the world (serving Hashem) because they were pagans. Thus Avraham, through his espousing of monotheism, brought about the level of perfection that was meant to be achieved by the members of the ten generations from Noach to Avraham.

Unfortunately, in our times the vast majority of the Jewish people are not committed to the observance of Mitzvos and the study of Torah. Nevertheless their participation is needed for the world to become perfected and this is not happening. Therefore a Jew whose life is committed to Torah and Mitzvos on a qualitative level has unlimited merit because he brings about a level of perfection to existence at a time when so many others are not. We should therefore try to perform Mitzvos in a more perfect manner and we will be able to affect the world as a whole and bring about the ultimate redemption.

5. Obstacles, Blessing or Curse?

The Jewish people were meant to enter the Land of Israel after a forty-year period of wandering. In the final year before the Jews entered into the land, they experienced numerous difficulties. At the beginning of the fortieth year Miriam passed away and the wellspring ceased to flow. The Jews immediately began to complain to Moshe that they would die in the desert if they did not have water to drink. As a result of this confrontation, Moshe struck the rock rather than speaking to it, thus causing him to forfeit the right to enter into the Land. Soon after this, Aaron passed away; the Clouds of Glory were dispersed and reinstated in the merit of Moshe Rabbeinu.

After the passing of Aaron, the Jews began to complain about the Mann (Manna) saying, "...our soul is disgusted with this insubstantial food." It is a wonder that after forty years of wandering in the desert and being sustained by the Mann that the Jewish people started to complain about it on the brink of their arrival to the Promised Land. As a result of their ungrateful behavior, Hashem sent the serpents to bite the Jews and many perished.

The Torah tells us that the Amorites planned to ambush the Jewish people as they traveled through a mountain pass; however, Hashem brought about a miracle that destroyed those who were waiting in ambush. Rashi cites the Midrash that says that the Amorites were hiding in caves along side the road that the Jews were going to take. Hashem caused the mountains to come together and the protrusions on one side crushed the Amorites in the caves. The body parts of the Amorites were washed away by the water that cascaded through the mountain. As the Jews passed the location between the mountains they saw rising up in the wellspring many body parts of human remains. They realized that Hashem had performed a miracle by destroying their enemy and averting the destruction of the Jewish people. The Jews sang songs of praise to Hashem for this miracle.

After this incident, the Jews engaged in the worship of Baal Paor, which was idolatry, and they cohabited with the Moabite women. Once again the Wrath of Hashem came upon the Jews and resulted in many casualties.

This entire chain of events from the passing of Miriam to the incident of the Baal Paor took place during the fortieth year after many years of wandering when the Jews were about to enter into the Promised Land. The question is - why did the Jews face such difficult tests at this point when they were about to enter the Land of Israel?

The Gemara tells us that that the end of the winter is the coldest part of the winter and the conclusion of summer is the hottest part of the summer. The Commentators explain that G-d created existence in a manner that whenever a transition is about to take place the move from one state of affairs to another is always the most intense due to the resistance of change. This is the reason why the night it darkest before the dawn. Therefore they explain this is the reason why the bondage of Egypt had to intensify after Moshe came to redeem the Jewish people. The transition from bondage to redemption caused the intensification of hardship to resist the imminent redemption.

The Jewish people were about to enter into the Land of Israel where they were going to reach a new dimension of spirituality. In this location the Jews were meant to fulfill the Torah in its entirety and thus achieve an advanced level of spirituality. Because of this change that was about to take place, Satan created an overwhelming level of resistance - not to allow this to occur. The desert location was the preparatory stage for this transition into the Promised Land.

It is true that whenever we are about to reach a spiritual milestone, we will always incur difficulties as a result of the transitional process to another level. Despite the level of clarity which the Jews had in the desert, nevertheless, they were subjected to many distractions and temptation due to the transition which was about to occur. If the generation that had the greatest level of clarity (the generation of the desert) experienced stumbling blocks and distractions prior to achieving a new spiritual milestone, how much more so are we susceptible? Chazal tell us that all beginnings come with great difficulty, especially when they have the potential to lead us along a spiritual path. The fact is that if we do experience obstacles in our ascent to spirituality, then it is an indication that we are about to undergo positive change that is worthwhile achieving.

6. Truth can only be Perceived through Humility.

The Torah tells us that Bilaam was the prophet of the nations of the world and his level of prophecy was at the level of Moshe Rabbeinu. Despite the fact that Hashem communicated with Bilaam at the same level as Moshe, Bilaam was nevertheless a person who could only be controlled by Hashem's saying "No." One would think that a person who prophesizes at such a level would have the clarity that would cause him to be a pious and righteous person. How is it possible that Bilaam, despite his understanding of Hashem and what He wants from him, could be so evil and corrupted?

The Mishna in Pirkei Avos states, "A person who has the three characteristics: Ayin Tovah (Good Eye), Ruach Nemucha (Humble Spirit), and Nefesh Shefelah (Minimal physical needs) is considered to be a student of Avraham Avinu." If a person has Ayin Tovah, he is truly happy when he sees his fellow human being experience good fortune. A person who has Ruach Nemucha is humble and not self-absorbed. And a person who has Nefesh Shefelah is satisfied with even the most minimal physical requirements. If one has these three characteristics, then he is considered a disciple of Avraham.

On the other hand, the Mishna continues, "A person who has the three characteristics of Ayin Raah (Evil Eye), Ruach Gevoha (Inflated Spirit), and Nefesh Rechava (Insatiable Desire) is considered to be a student of Bilaam the evil one." If a person is pained by another's good fortune and he is arrogant, haughty, and brazen and has an insatiable appetite for materialism, he is considered a disciple of Bilaam. For example, the Torah states that Bilaam said to Balak, "Even if you give me a house filled with gold and silver it would not be enough..." Although Bilaam was a commoner, he believed that he should have had the wealth of a king.

The Gemara in Tractate Berachos tells us that Avraham Avinu was the only human being to recognize Hashem completely on his own. As the Torah tells us, that Avraham referred to Hashem as, "Adon-ai (Master)." How was it possible for Avraham to recognize G-d's Presence in existence despite the world's devotion to paganism? The three most humble people that ever lived were - Avraham, Moshe, and Dovid HaMelech (King David). Avraham had a quality of humility, which could not be found in anyone else in existence. He was not self-absorbed to any degree and his focus was completely out of himself. He never considered "the I" or "the Me." The only way a person can perceive truth is if he focuses outwardly rather than inwardly on his own needs. If a person is self-absorbed with himself then that person's only agenda is to satisfy his needs to the exclusion of all else.

Hashem, the Creator and Master of the Universe spoke directly to Bilaam; however, because he was so consumed with his own agenda and ego, Bilaam could not internalize truth to any degree. He was arrogant, brazen, and pursued hedonism despite his understanding of Hashem because all that mattered was satisfying himself.

Ego can cause one to be oblivious to the realities of life. A person who is self-absorbed can be exposed and privy to the greatest source of wisdom and spirituality and still remain totally unaffected. A doctor once told a story about a heart patient of his who was advised not to travel to a location more than half an hour from a hospital. Despite the concern of the doctor, the patient insisted on going on a cruise that would take him far from any medical facility. He told the doctor, "I want to go on this cruise and I take full responsibility if I die on the ship!" How is it possible for a person to behave so irresponsibly at the risk of loosing his life? How could a cruise that lasts only a few days have greater value than living several more years? The answer is - if the "I" and the "Me" are important, then nothing matters at that moment other than satisfying one's own needs.

It was because of Avraham Avinu's humility that he was able to perceive Hashem and the truth despite the fact that he existed in a pagan world. Contrastingly, it was because of Bilaam's insatiable ego that he could not perceive truth despite his open relationship with Hashem.

It's Not My Problem -- Or Is It?

Pirkei Avos

It's Not My Problem -- Or Is It?

Chapter 5, Mishna 13

By Rabbi Dovid Rosenfeld

"There are four character types among people. One who says, 'What's mine is mine and what's yours is yours' is of average character, and some say, this is the character of Sodom. [One who says] 'What's mine is yours and what's yours is mine' is unlearned (lit., [of] the people of the land). [One who says] 'What's mine is yours and what's yours is yours' is pious. [One who says] 'What's yours is mine and what's mine is mine' is wicked."

This mishna compares four types of individuals in their attitude towards others. The most straightforward of the two are the pious and wicked ones. Whereas the pious one gives to others asking for nothing in return, the wicked one tries to get what he can with no reciprocation on his part.

Slightly more complex is the "unlearned" person. He is generous towards others yet hopes to receive in return. He is basically a good-hearted person who cares about others. The commentator Rabbeinu Yonah observes that our mishna calls him an "am ha'aretz," which literally means one of the "nation of the land." This expression is often translated as an ignoramus (it's tossed around quite freely nowadays), but more precisely, it means someone who is a full-fledged member of society --- and generally a productive and contributing one. He realizes people must do favors for one another and cannot live as islands. And he does his part to make life more livable for all he comes in contact with. Yet he is not entirely selfless. He hopes to receive as well as give. His interest in himself -- equally strong as his interest in others -- indicates that he does not see giving as a virtue in its own right but weighs relationships in terms of his own bottom line. He displays an ignorance as to the true value of giving. Nevertheless, he has a true Jewish heart -- he's one of us -- and through his acts of generosity he may one day become a person of truly giving spirit.

The final person (actually the first one listed) is one who neither gives nor takes. He is the subject of dispute in our mishna. The first opinion is that he is average, neither good nor evil. We may see him as the secular concept of a good person, crudely -- but accurately -- do whatever you want so long it doesn't hurt anyone else. Neither hurting nor helping others cannot be characterized as good nor evil. I do not wish the harm of others, neither do I care to help them. This is certainly secular: it lacks the religious sense of duty towards mankind, yet neither can it truly be considered evil. Perhaps it is the highest form of morality the secular world has to offer. And at least in a sense, it wouldn't seem that bad a way to go.

The second opinion takes a much harsher stance, comparing such a person to the wicked people of Sodom. Now certainly this fellow could stand to improve and ought to have a stronger sense of obligation towards mankind. Yet how does his evil even approximate the depravity of Sodom -- which G-d deemed so vile as to destroy the very land upon which it rested?

There's a fascinating passage in the Talmud (Sanhedrin 109a) which describes the mentality of the Sodomites. (In fact we see parallels to it in some of the strict immigration laws of more recent times.) What brought the Sodomites to such repugnant evil? The answer in a word was that they saw the lushness of their own land and desired it for themselves. And so, they banned all travelers and visitors. (Today, after its destruction (Genesis 19), it is the area of the Dead Sea, one of the most barren and uninhabitable places in the world.) Why share our richness with anyone else? As soon as you "make it," the shnorers (more respectfully: "fund-raisers") line up at your door. Who needs it? Not of course that they intended anyone else *harm* to be sure. They just wanted the comfortable life for themselves. "No Solicitors" figured prominently at the gates of their city (a rather common sight nowadays -- although most of the time the newly-arrived Israeli "solicitor" has no idea what the word means...). We wish you all the best, but keep your suffering and misery to yourselves!

Step two, continues the Talmud, the Sodomites enacted all sorts of cruel as well as absurd laws banning hospitality and charity, and doing away with all semblance of fair play. No one had any form of obligation towards others or was required to pay for any infraction. The Talmud lists such laws as that if one would hit his fellow, his fellow would owe *him* medical expenses for the service of blood-letting. Other choice rulings were that if A would cut off the ear of B's donkey, A would keep the donkey till it grew back, or if A would injure B's wife causing her to miscarry, A would take her till she again became pregnant.

The people of Sodom likewise decreed punishments for acts of charity. The Talmud records that when a young girl gave some bread to a poor person, they punished her by smearing her flesh with honey and tying her up on a roof, leaving her to die a horrific death at the hands of the bees. (The Sages state that it was this final breach of humanity which sealed the fate of these G-dless and despicable people.)

How did simple selfishness transform itself into such vicious as well as asinine cruelty? Simple -- it was not a transformation at all. They simply lived out their own selfishness to its logical conclusion. They didn't want to share, they wanted to live for themselves -- and so naturally they went to any and all extremes to free themselves of the burdens of hospitality and humanity -- as well as all moral accountability.

And the lesson for us is that there is simply no such thing as a person who focuses wholly on himself yet is still an "average" individual. If we accept that all humans are created in G-d's image, we will naturally feel obligated to help them and will share in their suffering. We might even see our wealth and talents as a responsibility: as gifts from G-d to be used in the manner He wishes. Once humans are in G-d's image, they are all equal, significant, and deserving of our love and respect.

If, however, a person feels others' problems are not his problems, his life will be one of selfishness and unlimited cruelty. He will sleep easily at night, blissfully unconcerned with the suffering of others; in fact he will go to any extreme to see that their plight does not interfere with his personal comfort and equanimity. On a national level, it is difficult for the isolationist mentality of "It's not our problem" to avoid spilling over into the national character of a country's citizens. (Such an attitude could not be more UN-Jewish, incidentally -- even if no one has the means of saving the entire world.) On a personal level, someone who thinks exclusively about himself has not reached the maturity of character required for friendship, marriage, or any type of serious relationship. Such a person will begin to see others as objects -- pawns to be used for his own selfish ends, then to be discarded when no longer useful.

(This also explains why among other things Sodom was known for sodomy. Relationships are one-way. Love is not giving: creating and becoming responsible for a family. It is taking: getting whatever sick pleasure I fancy.)

The sad but realistic conclusion is that one cannot "basically be a good person" if his raison d'etre is selfish. If we're really generous, neither hurting nor helping others can be considered "average." But average people -- if they do nothing to elevate their souls -- will not long remain so. You either grow or you fortify yourself in your mediocrity -- going to every cruel excess to remain oblivious to the rest of mankind. Without a sense of love of and appreciation for others, refusal to help will turn into a lack of concern and eventually an icy callousness towards the needs and suffering of others. Goodness cannot be defined in a vacuum. If you care about and sympathize with others, you are a human being yourself. If you are a person who at best chooses not to hurt others (because -- well, otherwise they might hurt you), your life is one of survival and self-preservation -- and ultimately of pathetic emptiness.

Women in Judaism

Women in Judaism

Class 26 - PARENTING LESSONS FROM GOD - THE ULTIMATE PARENT

Mrs. Mina Glick

Our previous installment of this class explored the connection between God's parenting of us, and our own parenting of children. Given this model, we may look to God's approach for insight into how we might deepen our own activities in this arena. This class will address, in more detail, behavioral issues including, defiance, adolescent struggles and parental judgement. Please let us know your reaction to the material, by sending an email to lkohn@torah.org.

PART 2

...from God we learn what the crux of parenting is all about. According to the 18th century kabbalist, Rabbi Moshe Chaim Luzzatto, God created humankind for one reason - because God wanted to give. This is the core of parenting. If we were to examine why we want children, it stems from the same Godly trait within us: the desire to give. A person does not feel complete without giving, and the greater our capacity to give, the more expansive we feel. This is a sensation of "ain sof" - of being limitless - truly a divine quality. And so we create for the same reasons God creates, and our children are created in our own image, both physically and spiritually, as we are created in God's image.

HANDLING DEFIANCE

And yet, from birth there is an inherent tension, because while our children are created in our image they are also created as separate beings with free will to grow and do as they will, and to defy us, if this is their will. Free will - the ability to make moral choices - is what distinguishes humankind from the rest of creation. It is a divinely given trait, the greatest of the traits we were given. And yet, as we see from the very first pages of Genesis, this gift is breathtakingly easy to abuse.

Adam and Eve were spectacular creations. They were endowed with the potential to live a life of such elevated spirituality that God's presence would be as manifest to them as nature is to us. Yet like us, they also were created with free will to choose whatever path in life they desired. This free will became their downfall when they defied God and ate from the one tree in the garden forbidden to them. Instantly their psychological makeup changed. Moments after they defied God the Torah describes the following result: "They heard God's voice moving about the garden with the wind of the day, and the man and his wife hid themselves from God among the trees of the garden." [Genesis, 3:8]. The original harmony that existed between these two adults and their Creator was broken; instead, losing their sense of themselves, they ran to hide, because they feared God's reaction.

What did God do? Adam and Eve's moral choice to defy God changed the course of history. For reasons too complex to enumerate here, their choice forced humankind to go through a much harder, longer and more confusing destiny until the goal of history is reached - the reinstatement of a perfect harmony between God and humankind.

Most human parents faced with a correspondingly destructive act of defiance would punish harshly and swiftly first, and only later ask questions as they try to deal with their own anger. God's reaction, however, is a model for our own parenting. The ultimate Parent with infinite patience, God first "searched" for Adam and Eve, and then discreetly encouraged them to admit their guilt. "Where are you?" God asked them. The One who sees everything was clearly not asking them about their physical whereabouts, but rather, was inviting them to consider their spiritual situation.

After they admitted their guilt, God gave the man and the woman different punishments, individually tailored to correct the flaws within each one, which initially led them to make their mistakes. Then, after pronouncing the punishments, God personally clothed them, to alleviate their shame and help them with the new circumstances they found themselves in. This is the parent par excellence who, in spite of everything, takes care of his or her children. The lessons for parenting are obvious. First, we must refrain from confronting our children with conclusions about their guilt; instead, we should encourage them to tell us themselves. Second, our punishments when at all possible should not be arbitrary, but rather, designed to help the child correct his or her behavior. Finally, we must let them know that despite everything we are still with them.

Something as simple as sitting together over a cup of tea after we've punished them, or reading a bedtime story with them, may be all that's needed. Although this gesture might demand a lot of us as people, as parents it will take us very far. We will reaffirm who we are to the children as well as to ourselves. The message comes through: we won't abandon them in whatever predicament they may find themselves in, even if we're angry at them.

HANDLING ADOLESCENTS

The Torah also offers us sharp insight into dealing with adolescents. What is the typical quandary of adolescence? The adolescent struggles for independence and often feels the need to defy the parents. Yet at the same time, the child wants to be good and wants the approval of the parents. When the child chooses to assert his or her independence in a sore area - an area where sensitivities are already running high - tempers on both sides often flare. Take for instance the situation of an adolescent we will call "Joe", who slowly gets ready for school, while his mother becomes increasingly frustrated. He's already quite late, and yet he takes his time exploring his room for socks, singing a song, checking to see if there's a soda in the refrigerator. Finally, Joe's mother cannot contain herself any longer and says, "Joe, you're driving me crazy! Go to school already!" Joe responds, "You're angry at me. You don't like me!"

This is a classic predicament. The mother's voice resonates with anger at the child's behavior, yet the child hears a rejection of himself. The child projects on the parent: "My mother is angry...she doesn't like me...she thinks I'm bad." Once the child is convinced of this, it gives him license to act accordingly. "You think I'm bad? Then I'll be bad." He slams the refrigerator shut and storms out of the house. The parent has become the enemy, as the child projects his internal struggles outward. Of course, this dynamic catches both the child and the parent by surprise. The parent has no intention of being the enemy and the child at this stage still wants to be good.

By the time he returns from school, Joe's disagreeable behavior might become outright obnoxious. He might ridicule his younger sister or refuse to sit with the family for supper. Is there a way to handle this progressive deterioration?

God's reaction to Cain [Genesis 4:3-16] gives us a lead. Cain and his first brother Abel, the first children of Adam and Eve, both brought offerings to God; Abel from the finest of his flocks and Cain from good, but not the choicest, produce of his fields. God refused Cain's offering and Cain became furious and depressed. "Why are you so furious?" God asks Cain. "Why did your face fall?" God said, remarking on Cain's dour expression. Notice that God does not admonish Cain for his feelings; God simply hold a mirror to Cain and asks him why he is feeling the way he is.

On the other hand, God does not pander to Cain's mood by justifying the decision to refuse his offering. God simply sets out a prescription for the future: "If you improve, don't you know that you will be able to stand upright again (with dignity)? And if you don't improve, sin is crouching at the door. It lusts after you, but you can dominate it." In effect, God is saying to Cain, "At this point the matter is in your hands. If you stop this behavior now and choose to do good, your future is unlimited. If you choose the path of sin, evil will be more than happy to entice you in its ways, but know that right now you have the power of choice."

This is perfect parenting. Stay cool; don't get insulted; don't take the child's behavior personally and don't fall into the trap of arguing on the child's terms. Instead, articulate the choices for the future. Let the child know that he is responsible for his choice and that you think he is good and can continue to be good. And explain clearly that there are natural consequences to his choices.

SHOW DISCIPLINE AND NOT RIGIDITY

Exercising his free will to his detriment, Cain refused God's request for him to be good, and instead killed his brother Abel in his rage. As a punishment, god decreed that until his death Cain must live with the consequences of his anti-social behavior by being an outcast from society, forced to wander restless and isolated in the world.

When Cain protested that the punishment could make him vulnerable to attacks by others, God understood his anxieties and made an adjustment in the punishment to help Cain. God placed a special mark on Cain that would be a warning to others not to harm him. In amending the punishment, God was sending a message to Cain that, although Cain had proved himself unfit for human company, he would never be alone because God would always be with him. As we said before, this loyalty is perhaps the most indispensable quality in good parenting.

EXPRESSING OUR ALLEGIANCE

In our lives, how can we express this total allegiance to our children? Perhaps the best way is by immersing ourselves in the details of their lives. Recently, someone told me about a very successful elementary school teacher in one of the worst areas of the inner city. What was the secret of her success? She used to come to school with brushes, bows and barrettes, and before she taught each day she would fashion her students' hair. This involvement on a personal level helped her forge relationships in a way few teachers were able to match.

The Book of Job - one of the most fascinating of the 24 books that comprise Judaism's sacred literature - offers an additional insight into this theme of parents' unconditional commitment to be involved in their children's lives. The theme of the book is unexplained suffering. Job, a righteous man, suffered tremendous misfortunes and challenged God to tell him the reasons why he was made to suffer so.

God offered him an answer and Job was comforted. And yet, most people find God's answer puzzling, because it does not mention Job at all, but rather, depicts God's personal involvement with His creatures. God asks Job, "Do you know the time when the mountain goats give birth? Did you count the months as they came to term, to know the moment of their birth?" [Job 39:1,2].

Job is comforted by this because it show a world with not only a Creator, but a Governor, a God who is constantly involved with every aspect of the Creation. Job still has no explanation for his suffering, but he gains one certainty: God is not remote and he - Job - and his pain, is not forgotten. God does not overlook him. Everything was and is part of a divine plan, a plan which, whether we understand it or not, is beneficial to us individually as well as to humankind in general.

When my children say to me, "It's not fair," this is precisely what I tell them. "From your perspective you're right, it doesn't seem fair. But everybody has different needs, and it is my role as a parent to consider the whole picture. I'm not forgetting you - you're constantly in my mind and heart, but in the larger picture, your sister needs more attention now." By accepting this answer, the child expresses a deep trust in us. In a similar vein, when we accept God's answer to Job, we express a deep trust in God.

JUDGING WITHOUT PRE-JUDGING

Another critical factor in effective parenting is the ability to judge a child where she is, free of our expectations of her, and free of our disappointments stemming from her past failures. A striking example of this can be found in Genesis in God's response to Ishmael as he lay near death in the desert. Ishmael, the wayward son of Abraham, was the archetype of a problem child. A born rebel, he was difficult as a child and would become criminal as an adult, which God well knew. And yet, when the boy's life was in danger and he wept in pain, the verse says: "God heard the boy's voice, there where he was" [21:17]. When Ishmael's situation was viewed in isolation, he deserved to be saved.

We must judge our children and our children's friends as they are, in each given situation. Reacting to a situation with cumulative judgement, or with presentiments about the future, sends a message to any child, and even more so to a difficult child, that she can't win.

WHEN NOTHING ELSE WORKS

Like a child in adolescence, the Jewish nation went through a very rough period of rebellion and resistance to the authority of God for 1000 years, ending at approximately 300 BCE. Prophets were sent to the people and nothing helped. The nation seemed bent on self- destruction.

When the prophet Ezekiel asked what good it was to send him to warn the Jewish people, when both he and God knew they wouldn't listen, God answered him that even if they won't listen, they will still know that a prophet has been in their midst. The message for us as parents is clear. Even if children cannot respond in a positive way at the moment, it doesn't mean guidance should not be given. It is our job to offer them direction, just as God continually sent prophets to the people.

Parenting is not an easy task. It's an art form. One lesson the Torah teaches us is that our role must be as varied and diverse as God's multifaceted relationship with humankind. It demands personal development, more so than any job on earth.

I've often wondered why it is that on Yom Kippur the person leading services, who petitions God on behalf of the congregation, must have children. Perhaps the answer is precisely our topic here. With our children, our ability to seek truth, to gain humility and to change enters a new dimension.

Women in Judaism, Copyright (c) 2000 by Mrs. Leah Kohn and ProjectGenesis, Inc.